No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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