i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
