What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it hurts more in the daytime
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
