so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
