its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
