you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
