id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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