i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
