turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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