he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
