Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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