im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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