I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
