it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
