how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
