were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I supernannyed him into submission
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize