The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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