I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
