Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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