Are we in a gay sports bar?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
