I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
