Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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