She said her name was "party"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
