So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
