Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
