No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize