her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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