Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
