cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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