Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
