3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Porn is love you can see.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
