There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
