went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
try to milk me bitch
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