So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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