mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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