hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
