She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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