fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
