absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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