how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize