New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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