Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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