Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
