id be glad to
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
