He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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