Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
