WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
