she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
