The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
