I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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