actually, I'm a sock model
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
