those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
