I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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