mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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