Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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