Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
