My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
