I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize