Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
