don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
