Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
